Who supports you when you are sick? The flu ran rampant through our house last week. We survived Christmas relatively unscathed; our house was illness-free. We even managed two trips to the North before we finally succumbed.
Lucky for us, we had an empty nest. My husband and I could put on our pyjamas and spend the week away from the world. We helped and supported each other; whoever felt the least sick made hot tea and doled out the medicine.
Last week would have been very difficult without my partner; I was not well enough to take care of anyone else and, at times, not even myself. Small children need around-the-clock care, and older children need support and supervision. This led me to ask, ‘How do you cope with sickness during and after divorce?’
Gather a support team.
Changing from being part of a couple to a single parent takes adjustment. Things go wrong; people get sick and need help and support. If you have recently separated, have you gathered a support team around you? Do you know who will take care of your children on the days you are not well enough to do so yourself?
No (wo)man is an island, and a support team is essential. There will be days when you need help.
Critical Illness – what happens when you are sick?
The everyday world doesn’t stop just because you are getting a divorce; serious stuff still happens, and the timing can be terrible. Consider the type of help you would need if you were sick and had to stay in the hospital. Being part of a couple means that there’s always another person there to help. You may have to share that other person’s workload with a backup team of helpers.
Don’t forget you may need different types of help—help for yourself and help for your children. Your ex may have supplied you with plenty of emotional support (or not), and finding emotional support for yourself may be very different from finding practical support and help for your child.
Your ex also loves your child.
In most cases, both parents of a child want to be involved in the child’s life. Just because a divorce takes place doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex-partner won’t be there for you to support you and your child in your time of need. Have you both discussed what would happen if one of you were sick and needed extra help?
How to create a back up support team.
Parents gather their support team from all walks of life: friends, relatives, school parents, church group members, babysitters, childminders, coaches, therapists, etc. It’s a great idea to be friendly with other school parents and be part of each other’s support team. Start thinking about who you can trust and who you would like in your child’s life. Choose people who are loving, level-headed, and who you think would be good in a crisis.
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