This article isn’t just a case study on one woman. It could be argued that I am writing about many women especially women hitting or surpassing mid-life. For the sake of the article, we will call her Sara.

Sara has been married for years, silently stewing whilst she feels unloved, ignored and taken for granted. She has a husband, kids, a job, parents, in-laws etc, all demanding her time and servitude whilst she feels they give very little back. She is emotionally starved and has a huge pot of resentment bubbling away inside of her. Now let’s add in menopause and all that it entails into the mix. She’s 49 years old, feels unattractive and struggling with her hormones. On certain days she finds it hard to get a grip of her emotions and struggles to separate her menopausal symptoms from her general unhappiness. She can both love and resent her family in any given hour. She is a prime candidate for becoming a walkaway wife.

This info isn’t just for women.

Long marriages go through both good and bad times. There may be years of love, happiness, and abundance where everything seems to be going well. There will also be years of sadness, loss, problems, unhappiness etc. Solid marriages store up love and goodwill and in times of trouble the couple uses that same goodwill and love to survive the difficult times. But what happens when there is very little left to get you through the difficult times?

The characteristics of a walkaway wife.

So, what are the signs that you may be a potential candidate and that your marriage is in great danger? Have you found yourself becoming increasingly emotionally disconnected and does very little matter anymore? There may be a lack of inertia where you can no longer be bothered to be angry or agitated. Does each day feel the same?

Sara found herself dissatisfied with her marriage; and had been unhappy for years. She had stopped trying, both in the home and within the marriage. She had detached physically, sexually, and emotionally.

The communication in your relationship might be at an all time low. Date nights might be a thing of the past. Shared activities and plans might have become non-existent. These are all signs that something isn’t right in your marriage.

Silence isn’t golden.

Don’t assume that silence is a good thing. There’s a lot not being said in silence. Couples leading up to a divorce may argue and fight. A good nonviolent agitated discussion can help bring the issues to the surface. You can learn a lot from a heated argument and choose to react accordingly. Hopefully both partners will be able to express their feelings.

Sara could of stealthily left her home before anyone else realised just how unhappy she was. There would be no loud conversations just a space at the dinner table and an empty wardrobe.

Sara walking away and leaving might be a surprise to her partner, but it wouldn’t be an abrupt decision. There will have been preparation, planning and patience. This could be a ‘Shirley Valentine’ scenario and she may not be coming back. It’s a common story – Sara the walkaway wife leaves behind Tom the unaware, abandoned husband.

Can you stop a walkaway wife from walking?

Walkaway wives don’t often come back home once they have left. Once away from home and all the trappings we think we need, it is surprisingly easy to live a simpler life.

Communication between a couple has more chance of being effective whilst both partners are living under the same roof. If you suspect your marriage is in trouble, talk to each other, be honest, recognise that both of you have a point of view and may need to change / compromise. Commit to spending more time together and put fixing your relationship to the top of both of your agendas. Try to remember why you first were attracted to each other. Above all else, be prepared to listen and say sorry.

As for Sara, I would suggest she explores and establishes her feelings. She needs to find out what role the peri menopause / menopause is playing in her decision making as unbalanced hormones may be agitating the situation. Her marriage might not be salvageable and may be over, but walking away without discussion might not be the answer.