So, let’s think about the times you attend school after hours. This can be when you bump into your ex or even actively attend a function with them.

Are you prepared? There’s the practical preparation and it easy for some but not for all. Do you have the time, place, the rsvp, dress code, behaviour code all in place? Get this nailed down first. Don’t be the dad who arrives halfway through the school play. Can your new partner attend? It might be a football match and your child is happy for them to be on the side line, it might be the case of the ‘more the merrier’. Now think about Parent / Teachers Evening? This is generally just for the parents. Don’t ignore what’s appropriate to the situation.

Now let’s ponder on your emotional and mental state. Will your ex-partner be there? Will you have to sit with them, converse with them, present yourself as a team with them? Can you behave around them?

Now think about your child. Are they expecting to see you and do they want you there? Will they be surprised to see you and will they be worried or anxious that their parents are together or in the same room?

Finally, your ex-partner. Do they know you will be there? Are they bringing anyone else to the event? Do you trust them to behave themselves?

School events are a great opportunity to show a child that their separated parents still care and can work as a team to co-parent together. The school community and teachers can also see that you are actively and healthily co-parenting. If the school doesn’t need to manage your situation, they can then spend more time teaching and nurturing your child.