This week, holiday planning seems to be in the air, so I thought I would discuss what you need to consider when planning a holiday as a single parent for the first time.
Holiday planning – Who’s going.
Let’s consider the simple – who’s going. Will it be just you and your children or are you considering a larger group of family and friends? Are you planning on inviting your new partner and perhaps even their children on your holiday? It might be worth joining an organised group if you are going alone and don’t want to be the only adult on the holiday.
Start with permission.
This is essential pre holiday planning. Unless the other parent of your child is deceased, you may need permission to take your child on holiday. This may be easy if you have a healthy co-parenting relationship, as flexibility can often be required in scheduling flight times, etc. A one-week holiday often requires eight days because of travel times. If communication with your ex is tricky and strictly to rule, you may have to find a holiday that fits your pick-up and drop-off times.
If you are going abroad, your children will need passports to travel. This can take time to organise, so if they don’t already have one, start the process as early as possible.
It is worth travelling with official proof that you are a parent of the children and with a permission letter from your child’s other parent. I once tried to fly to Canada with my children (without their father) without a permission letter. We spent a tricky hour inside the airport until my husband could give his verbal permission by phone and promised that he would join a few days later. My young boys were taken to the side to be interviewed, and it was all a little distressing.
It can be extra tricky if you don’t share the same surname as your children, as different surnames can be a red flag at passport control.
Holiday planning – Where to go.
This may take some consideration. I’ve known people to choose a familiar destination, as it reduces the unknown when they get there. On the other hand, do you want to go somewhere if there are lots of memories from your old life?
Consider your children’s ages. Do you need a toddler-friendly place or somewhere with many activities for older children? You also need to consider the type of accommodation you require, whether you want your meals provided, or other services like laundry, babysitting, etc. Do you want to spend time sightseeing or a restful beach holiday?
If travelling abroad seems too daunting or not within your budget, there are plenty of wonderful places to visit in the UK.
What else to consider.
Travelling alone with your children means you must rethink all aspects of the holiday. How do you deal with luggage, passport control, etc.? You should consider how you will travel to the airport and your holiday destination. You must also ensure you know about your child’s allergies, medical history, and food preferences.
Holidaying with young children may mean spending many evenings alone if they have early bedtimes. You may want to consider renting an apartment with somewhere to sit in the evenings besides a hotel bedroom. A hotel with room service may be handy if you can’t leave your children alone while they sleep. You may have to adjust your expectation of a family holiday now.
Communicating with home.
You can plan and decide how your child stays in touch with their other parent while they’re away. What’s an appropriate amount of communication? I think prior agreement with your ex-partner is always a good idea. Too much communication can be as bad as no communication.
If your children aren’t used to being without their other parent, think of ways to keep them busy and distracted. Children can naturally feel weepy when tired; they may miss their other parent during these moments. It is okay if your children have these feelings; they can feel sad, have a wonderful holiday, and hold both positions. As well as being a new experience for you, there’s a good chance it’s your child’s first holiday without both parents. There’s going to be feelings. This new experience will one day become routine. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t all go according to plan.
