We had our first family Christmas lunch this weekend. There was the pulling of Christmas Crackers, the wearing of funny hats and the eating of huge amounts of food. We have adult children, and we are widespread across the world. Our family is a blended family, and we can rarely all be together on Christmas day. We now have three little grandchildren, so there’s a whole new layer of in-laws and other people to consider.
Christmas day can be any day.
With divorce and separation comes compromise. You won’t normally get to spend every Christmas day with your child. The religious part of Christmas can’t change, church services etc may be date and time fixed, but the rest of it can be celebrated at any time. Coming together as a family, sitting eating together and celebrating can take place on any of the other 364 days of the year.
If it isn’t your turn to have your children on Christmas Day this year, then choose another day. Have early Christmas or late Christmas. Most children would be more than happy to have two celebrations. Santa can make a special delivery. There aren’t any rules, and you can make new traditions. Divorce allows you the opportunity to rethink how you would like to spend your Christmas. I have friends who eat Chinese food for their special meal each Christmas day. My own birth family spends Christmas morning at the beach in Australia. Your day, your rules.
Alone at Christmas.
This year there will be thousands of newly separated parents contemplating Christmas Day without their children. It will take adjustment and there will be sadness.
For most people, it is not a good day to be alone. The roads and streets of Great Britain are empty, and lucky families are tucked up indoors together eating food, playing games and watching television.
If you know that you don’t want to be alone, there are communal lunches across the country that individuals can attend or volunteer. Most people will have a ‘the more the merrier’ approach and an open house attitude to Christmas. Plan and you most likely don’t need to be alone on Christmas Day.
Our family Christmas Day.
If all goes to plan, this Christmas Day we intend to have another special meal with any family members still in London. We will also make video calls to the USA, Dubai and Australia. The family will magically appear on the screens in our kitchen, and we will share messages of love, and there will be laughter. Hopefully, if all goes to plan, we will be together next year.
