The situation.
Sam first made contact a year after he separated from his wife (Lou). He wanted specific help. He wanted to take his two girls (ages 9 and 11 years) on a foreign holiday. This was to be his first solo / single parent holiday with the girls, and he was slightly nervous and very unsure how to proceed. So how do you find out all you need to know to prepare to take your first solo parent holiday after divorce?
Holidaying as a single parent for the first time can be nerve racking. There’s so much to consider; you first must establish if you have the legal right to take your child away. Are you named on your child’s birth certificate; do you have parental responsibility? If you don’t have parental responsibility, you will need the other parents’ permission to take your children abroad. Even with permission, it is a good idea to carry a copy of your child’s birth certificate along with your marriage / divorce certificate as well a permission to travel letter from your child’s other parent.
You may never need these documents, but certain countries are very strict about paperwork and consider children travelling with one lone parent or under a different surname a possible child abduction case. Canada has particularly strict procedures as I learnt from experience. I was a married woman on a solo trip with my young boys. Our trip without the boys father was rushed and unplanned. If I had been more organised I could have avoided my young sons being interviewed by law enforcement officials in Toronto Airport.
Sam had no issue with permission, his ex-wife was fully supportive of the idea of him taking the children abroad. Sam and Lou’s divorce hadn’t been without its problems but overall, they did manage to co-parent quite well together.
Detailed Planning.
Sam knew the dates he had available and had an idea where he wanted to take the girls. As for the rest of the details he needed help.
We decided that it was perhaps a good idea for him to revisit an old holiday destination. Holidaying as a single parent can be tricky so going to a familiar place for your first solo parent holiday can reduce some of the unknown. Sam and his family had previously visited a lovely resort on mainland Greece. Lou was happy to know they were going to a familiar destination; she knew the resort well and felt that it was a suitable place for the children to visit without her.
The resort.
The resort offered and Sam chose a two-bedroom family suite with a shared living room. He was looking for privacy for himself and his girls but didn’t particularly want to go to bed at nine in the evening. The resort had a babysitting service, but Sam didn’t feel comfortable with the thought of leaving his children alone or with strangers. He had to manage his own expectations; this was going to be a very different type of holiday.
The resort offered food throughout the day. Sam isn’t a great cook and didn’t want the trouble of buying and preparing food on holiday. The resort also operated an amazing kids club with activities and movie nights. This ensured that there was plenty for the children to do throughout the day. Most parents realise that if their children are happy on holiday then they are happy too.
Things to consider.
Greece in July almost certainly guarantees hot weather. Sam didn’t want to launder clothing whilst away. The children needed to have enough clothes with them for the trip without their bags being too heavy. Solo parent trips often involve the need for the children to help with the luggage. Sam was a male taking two little girls away, he had to negotiate single sex changing rooms and bathrooms. In the past Lou would never have allowed the girls to be alone whilst changing. Sam would have to trust that the girls would be ok, and the girls would have to gain a level of independence on this holiday.
Travelling alone with your children means that you must rethink all aspects of the holiday. How do you deal with luggage, how do you deal with passport control etc? You need to consider how you will get to your holiday destination once off the plane. If the journey is long your children may be cranky and exhausted. The last part of your journey may involve carrying lots of luggage and sleeping children. Do you really want to add a hire car and driving on the other side of the road into the mix? Perhaps a taxi from the airport is a better idea.
Remember to have up to date knowledge of your child’s allergies, medical history, food preferences etc. A little preparation before you leave can come in handy on the holiday.
You also need to have an idea how your child will stay in touch with their other parent whilst away and you need to decide what’s an appropriate amount of communication. Prior agreement with your ex-partner is always a good idea as too many calls can be as bad as no communication at all.
After the holiday.
Sam and I had a quick meeting after his trip. The holiday had been a success. Sam felt that the girls had enjoyed their holiday. They loved Greece and had made plenty of friends at the kids club. Sam felt that the nights were long as the girls went to bed after dinner each evening. He felt lonely but took the opportunity to catch up on work and reading.
Sam enjoyed spending a concentrated amount of time with his girls and is already thinking about their next holiday. He is considering booking an organised tour for single parent families for their next trip as he fancies going to India and would like other families to be there in order to get some grownup conversation after dinner.
Useful Links:
http://www.stubbornmuletravel.com
